Dealing with stressful situations and crises differs greatly between the sexes. When men go through stressful and psychologically stressful situations, we see them tend to isolate themselves, distance themselves and withdraw into themselves until they succeed in solving the problem and getting out of the predicament or stressful situation. The majority of their mental energy is focused on trying to find a solution to the problem, and they do not have time to be preoccupied with other matters. Their psychology is also distracted and they become less cooperative in the field of mutual relations. We also see them tend to be preoccupied with activities that distract their thinking in an attempt to free themselves from being preoccupied with what worries them.
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In contrast, women talk a lot about their problems in order to relieve their worries and avoid depression, rather than because they want to find a solution to the problems. Such conversations are often characterized by a lack of logical-rational sequence and are based mainly on emotional implications.
A wife whose husband is in distress expects him to talk to her about his problems and to involve her in everything related to these problems, based on her conviction that she would do the same thing if she were in his place. But the man, not out of malice, ignores her desire and does not share with her what he is going through. She continues to try to lure him into talking because she thinks that he does not care about her or her feelings. When the man insists on his silence and ignores her involvement, the wife becomes very demanding and critical, and a dispute arises that may develop into a quarrel that could have been avoided if the wife had not felt insulted and hurt by the temporary interruption in communication between her and her husband, and if she had been patient without causing the husband a suffocating feeling.
On the other hand, when the wife faces problems or crises, she quickly releases this pressure on her husband, which may lead to his patience running out quickly, because the husband usually wants to feel that his wife is satisfied with him, her life and her family. When the husband realizes that this is not the case, he feels that he is responsible for the situation and that he is in the dock. This feeling pushes the man to defend himself against these accusations, instead of providing his wife with a listening and understanding ear, which is what she needs. Because of this behavior, an argument and misunderstanding may arise between the spouses, stemming from accusatory behavior, on the one hand, and defensive behavior, on the other.
Another alternative is for the husband to listen to his wife to understand her problem and give her advice, as she would have done if she were in his place. When he does this, he is not only addressing his wife's problem, but also his own.
It is true that the wife often needs advice, but experience shows that she needs emotional support more. Therefore, she often feels hopeless due to her husband’s lack of understanding. The husband’s support for his wife by listening to her and understanding her emotional needs when she talks about her concerns can help him listen to her and provide the support she needs, without feeling that he is responsible for her crisis, or that he is accused, and without feeling like a failure.
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